He thought he was pulling a fast one on me. I consider myself to be pretty liberal with most parenting things. But for the most part, I draw my line pretty hard and fast at candy for breakfast.
He went through his entire speech about why he SHOULD BE ALLOWED a piece so early in the morning. It involved something about firemen, Captain America, a cat, a rainbow, obedience, and a pair of marshmallows.
Seriously. A pair of marshmallows. I’d love to know what goes on inside of his head all day long.
Honestly I was trying really hard to pay attention to his profound world changing Captain American rainbow cat speech, but I was still chugging my first cup of coffee.
And because I’m a “yes” mom, I agreed to candy for breakfast.
I agreed because he was begging me for a warhead. A warhead for breakfast. A freaking sour apple warhead for breakfast.
I mean, how could I say no really?
Captain America and his pair of marshmallows were depending on me to give Malone a warhead for breakfast. Malone needed to go save the rainbow cat.
First, there was elation.
He had no idea what he was in for. He couldn’t believe I was saying yes. I was declared the COOLEST mom ever.
He told me he we were going to be best friends until I died. And then he wouldn’t be my best friend anymore. But I’d be in heaven with Jesus, the unicorns, and the dinosaurs. Also, on Tuesdays there is a dance party. He assured me that he would be able to send me a postcard.
WHO IS THIS KID???
The funniest kid on earth. That’s who.
Carry on little buddy.
Next came the unexpected sour.
He held strong. After all, this is CANDY. And it is in HIS MOUTH BEFORE BREAKFAST.
He will not lose this one.
His mouth is only going to open if there is a crow bar forcing it open.
And then comes the WTF is going on here face.
He held out for as long as he could before he spit it out.
He declared that we’re no longer best friends.
And then tried to give his half licked warhead to his dad.
I’m not sorry.
Cause and effect dude.
What is the weirdest things your kids have eaten for breakfast? Would you have done the same thing?