This post has been brought to you today by OneDay, the app that helps you create a professional quality video with the touch of a button.
I’ve been feeling really conflicted about how I use social media lately. In the past almost every milestone, new word, and cute photograph of my kids was blasted off into Facebook for the world to see. I’ve joked for quite a long time that Facebook is the modern day baby book. If I need to know when Malone cut his first tooth or took his first steps, I can just take a stroll through my timeline to find the answer.
Someone in my friend circle recently started potty training her child. Every play by play was posted publicly and shared. I knew how many M & M’s the child received that day, how many accidents he had, and what kind of big boy underwear he was wearing. And that is when I realized that while I myself have never shared potty training details with the world, there have certainly been times where I’ve contributed to the noise of social media by over sharing.
I’m still using social media to share the lives of my kids- but in smaller, more curated doses now. I’ve come up with a series of questions to ask myself before I post something of them online. I thought I’d share them with you today.
Social Media + Kids: 5 Questions To Ask Yourself Before You Post About Them
1. If my kid reads this, would he/she be embarrassed by it?
Eventually, my little ones will not be five and 17 months. They’ll be 10 and 6 or 18 and 14. I don’t want to be ashamed or embarrassed when they find my social media feeds. Instead, I want them to look at the moments I have shared and smile. Maybe it will even jog a memory or two for them.
2. Does sharing this keep my kid safe?
For us, this means no full on bathtub shots, nudity, or potty photos. It also means no photographs in front of their schools. I am also trying really hard to stop sharing moments in live time, meaning that by the time I’ve put that photo of us at the park on Instagram, we’re already home.
The internet is full of creepy creepers and it is my job to help keep my kids safe.
3. Is this my story tell?
There are some stories that aren’t 100% mine to tell. As my kids get older, I know they’re going to have fights with friends, crushes, and first kisses. They’re going to have girlfriends and boyfriends and love stories of their own. I want to be there for them in those moments, but those stories aren’t going to be ones for the world to get to be a part of because they’re not my story to share!
4. Am I sharing this because I want the instant gratification of “likes” or am I sharing this because I know this is a moment my family and friends would love to see?
As someone who has struggled with pride in the past, it can be really easy to get caught up in the instant gratification that sharing on social media brings. I’ve found the more likes a post of the kids get, the bigger my ego becomes. The bigger my ego becomes, the uglier I get on the inside.
5. Is this too special for the world to be a part of?
I know several friends that have set up Facebook accounts for their newborns. Their lives are being written for them on the walls of their Facebook page. It works for their parents and to some extent, I get it. You know me, I’m all about doing what works best for someone. But for us, there are stories in my family that are too precious for public domain.
Instead, I keep a good old fashioned journal for my kids. I write in the daily to record the day to day ordinary of our lives together. Some days, it is just a quick I love you. Other days, I write paragraphs and paragraphs noting the funny things they said or did.
One of the main reasons why I share what I do is because we live really far away from family and friends. Sharing what is happening with the kids helps close the gap. My kids don’t get to spend a lot of one on one time with my family, but my family can watch them grow by what I share on social media- so there is value there.
In addition to journaling, I am also a really big fan of using the OneDay app to record short videos of my kids. OneDay is an instant movie maker- all I have to do is choose a prompt, ask the question to the kids, and hit the record button on my iPhone.
I can string together a series of prompts and create a professional quality video with the click of a button. It doesn’t take any professional skills to make a masterpiece. OneDay has a ton of different story prompts including themed sets for holidays, sets designed especially for a child to answer, and even sets for an adult to answer.
When I’m finished making the movie, I can save it to my camera roll on my phone. From there, the movie can be uploaded to You Tube, sent via email, or even sent via a text. This app allows me to share my videos of kids without using social media. I can’t tell you how many movies I’ve emailed to the grandparents!
The OneDay app is currently free and available for both iPhone and was released on Feb 2 for Android devices via the Google Play Store.
What are your thoughts on how you share your children’s life online?
I share my kids faces online, but I never say their names or the town we live in. I am sure it’s not THAT hard to find out, but I try to keep it a little private.
I like the way you refer to them as the gruesome twosome!
I share only the things my son son says he is okay with. At 14 I respect his privacy so he has to be ok with it.
becca recently posted..ARM & HAMMER #TrulyRadiant
What great questions! Too often I see moms and bloggers sharing embarrassing things about their children and I can only imagine how the kids would feel… Good on you to bring some enlightenment!
Thanks Ronnie! I never ever want my kids to be embarrassed by what I post about them online!
These are GREAT reminders! I definitely think about things before I post when it involves my kids. A perfect example is when my son was trying to find pics of our sugar gliders at school, so he googled them and came to my blog (at the school computer). I am not worried about anything that he read or saw because I make sure that anything I post online is something that would be FINE for him or anyone else to read. There really are no secrets when it comes to social media, blogging, the internet, etc!
AJ @ NutriFitMama recently posted..Thinking Out Loud and Chocolate Drunken Strawberries
Oh my goodness! I also try really hard to only write about things that will be positive. The internet is forever!
I say keep it professional and classy. Not every moment must be shared for the purpose of sharing it
Lorane recently posted..New York Fashion Week starts Today!
Professional and classy! I like it! Those are great things to think about when posting about your kids on social media!
I never really thought about this before. Mine are younger and they enjoy seeing the photo’s of them I post. Keeping a log is a great idea!
My kids like to see photos of themselves too!
I had a post written out yesterday. It was about parenting, but I wrote it in a fit of frustration and even though I was trying to be vague, it still had a lot of detail in it. I went back and started to edit and then decided to just delete the whole thing and start over. I frequently remind myself that some things are not my story to tell. It’s a good place to start from.
Rabia @TheLiebers recently posted..Kids: The Owner’s Manual is Missing
Good for you! Sometimes it can just be so hard to self edit! I often find myself writing in a Word document just to process my feelings about something before it turns into a blog post!
Lola is so cute!! Micah and Lola need to have another playdate!
Great questions. Alice will ask me if I’m going to put something on FB, and that always makes me think twice.
Nancy recently posted..A Mirror, Almost.
We’d love to have another playdate! Lola needs to see her bff Micah!
This is a great post. I always ask my children before I share and I think about many of those things before posting. Awesome reminder!
Milena recently posted..10 Things I Learned to Eliminate Morning Chaos with Kids
What a great idea to ask your kids before you post, Milena!
Those are very good questions. I was very guilty of over sharing back in the day when Facebook first started. Over the years and as I get older, I find that I don’t share as much about my children. Especially the teenagers. Would hate to embarrass them more than I already do.
Chelle @ Oh Just Stop Already recently posted..Start Pampering Your Vehicle with Pennzoil #DropShopAndOil
I think it is so hard to not share too much!
Those are the perfect questions to ask before using your kids in a post. Also, considering whether to use their actual names when posting about a situation they were a part of requires a lot of consideration as well. If you can tell the story without identifying them specifically, it’s always the best idea to do so.
Elizabeth Towns recently posted..Near Enemy – A blogging with books review
Great thoughts, Elizabeth!
These are definitely great questions to ask before posting about your kids. You don’t want to post anything that would make them unsafe or embarrassed.
Yep! I don’t ever want my kids to be embarrassed by something I write about them or share on social media!
I don’t tend to share a whole lot of family stuff. I think certain things are good to share, but not every single aspect of life.
Debbie Denny recently posted..THE AGE OF ADALINE – in Theaters APRIL 24! #Adaline
I agree Debbie! There are things that are great to share- things that I want my family that lives far away to know about and see. The danger is when every single moment is shared and it just makes too much noise!
I think those are great tips for mentioning anyone in your life on social media!
Lois Alter Mark recently posted..marriott’s oceana palms
You’re right Lois! These tips could be applied to anyone!
I agree that sometimes people share to much on social media. I often think that social media only shows the positive in everyone’s lives.
Melissa Vera recently posted..Preventing Loved Ones From Falling
Excellent point! Social media shows reality through a really filtered lens!
I can’t imagine sharing some things on social media that I have seen some parents share. I love the idea of keeping journals for my kids.
I love keeping a journal for my kids- it has become a really fun habit to develop. Just say no to over sharing!
There’s definitely a lot of over sharing happening right now. The modern internet is till relatively new and I don’t think people have figured it out the way you have. People should know how many complete strangers can see their content.
Liz Mays recently posted..Donut Bites! Apple Cinnamon Mini Donuts
So much over sharing! I think people forget that just because something can be shared doesn’t mean it HAS to be shared!
since my daughter is now 13 she has a few social media accounts and gets very concerned about what I post about her.
maria @ closetohome recently posted..Comment on Gluten Free Dessert Recipe: Peach and Blueberry Crisp by Melissa Vera
I think it can be really hard to figure out what is the right thing to do when there are older kids (who have opinions) involved!
I love this. It is always important to keep this in mind when it comes to children. I find it scary when I see so much posted online.
Kerri recently posted..Cookie Decorating Costume Party Fun
Thanks Kerri! It is scary how much information parents are willing to put out there about their kids!
My youngest are 15 and I struggle daily with what to post. My son doesn’t want me posting at all because we have mutual friend and he doesn’t want things getting around. haha.
The younger they are, you do have to be more careful because you don’t know who has gotten access to a photo.
Taya recently posted..How to Fix Your Credit â Part 2
I think it can be just so hard to know what might be okay and what won’t. When they’re little, it is much easier!
Oh my friend… as a Mama to an All Growed Up Girlie who grew up as the internet and facebook (and twitter and ig and… you get it!) exploded – I whole-heartedly agree with this post and these tips! Just so much Amen! It’s so easy to blur the lines, or forget the bigger picture – but these questions help clarify and protect! Love this!
~Karrilee~ recently posted..That Thing I Do Now – Vol 83
This is great, NJ!
Alison recently posted..How Do Our Online Lives Affect Our Children
Lola is a doll! I read on a blog, I think it was Kiss My List, to record the everyday moments and not just the milestones, because that’s what you’ll miss the most when they grow up. Sounds like a greart app for just that! Also, I love how you said “too special to share with the world” I’ve been keeping a lot of sweet moments just for me and my family lately because it’s more special that way. Actually, most of my pregnancy was just like that. Great post, NJ!
Gracielle recently posted..I Forgot My Baby’s Name
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Nice post NJ. Even though I don’t have a kid, I respect your views. My sister and sister-in-laws share whatever they want to, but I always tell them, social media is not our home, it’s public, so let us post something useful.
Thanks for sharing. I will send this post to my sister and sister-in-law, they need to read. 🙂
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