I am supposed to be doing the dishes right now, but while I was scrubbing crusted on spaghetti sauce from Monday night’s dinner I realized some things about myself.
Here they are in no particular order.
1. Scrubbing old dishes sucks. If I am too tired at 6:00 pm to do the dishes from that night’s meal, our life is too busy.
2. I need to apologize for something I’m not even 100% sure a friend knows I did. I didn’t sleep with her husband, I didn’t run over her cat, and I didn’t steal from or lie to her. But nevertheless, it is complicated and messy.
3. I also need to let a friendship go. Our lives are going different directions. We have things in common, but not enough for me make the continued effort as I have in the past. I’ve got friends that I don’t always see or talk to but when we get together we pick right back up where we last left off. But with this friend it just seems awkward and forced. I thought I’d be sadder about this, but letting go is exactly what I need.
4. I’m not giving this space the attention that I want to. I have big dreams that are not going to happen in the very little time I spend here. I need a plan of action, goals, and to spend more time here. Writing. Networking. Working on my voice.
5. I have not been the parent I want to be lately. Malone and I have been butting heads, battling over stupid stuff, and just generally not getting along. I thought it was him, but really it is me. He follows my lead. I have been stubborn, rigid, and unreasonable. No wonder he has been too. OUCH. Time to read Playful Parenting again.
6. I am such a better person to be around when I get up an hour before my family to enjoy a quiet house. This hasn’t been happening lately and I am really feeling the effects of it.
7. Someone I care about recently unfriended on Facebook. I’m sure it probably happened the day that I took a stand in support of gay marriage. I WAS pretty intense that day because it is an issue I deeply care about it. I am adamant that one can be a Christian and support gay marriage. It bothers me that instead of engaging with me about the topic I was flat out unfriended.
There you have it. It is amazing what comes up to the surface when I allow it to.
What are you keeping tucked away? How often do you let your truths come out?
After all, the truth will set you free.