Two motherhood truths. One lie. What is false and what is my motherhood truths? Read on to find out.

1. I have spent a lot of time planning how I would get my preschooler to the other side of the river. You know, like if we had to get to the other side because the zombies were coming and the bridge was out? I’ve decided that I’d strap him on my back in the Ergo and swim. Because I can totally swim across a river with a strong current with a 36 pound kid on my back. I’m THAT BUFF.

2. I swear in the car. Like a SAILOR sometimes. I know it is wrong but some people suck at driving. I’m working on it. You know- controlling the tongue and being a good example for the kids. That whole bit. I get it. But since I can’t seem to do it yet, Malone also swears in the car. And sometimes at birthday parties when the birthday boy gets an amazing gift. Yeah- my kid totally dropped a “holy sh#tballs” at a party last week. I’m not so proud of that. Except that he DID USE the language properly.

3. Malone almost peed his pants today when we were in the grocery store because we were at the 100% opposite end of the store. It legit would have been quicker for us to check out and go home to potty. Instead, I traipsed him through the store where he proceeded to touch and question just about every eye level kid lure there was. And then he threw a mini tantrum when I told him we couldn’t get the”Dusty Craphoopper” (his words.. not mine)  plane.

So… what is true and what is a lie? Give your guess in the comments below.

I’m linking up with Lisa Jo and all of the Five Minute Friday crew. Want to play with us? Grab a stop watch and write for five minutes. No editing. No looking back. The prompt is True.

Five Minute Friday


Update- #3 is the lie. We did go to the store and he did have to potty, but he didn’t throw a tantrum about Dusty Craphopper. And now that Lola is here, I have to revise my #1 scenario  How the heck will I get TWO kids across the river if the bridge is out?!?