I’m ripping down the veil today to share how yesterday went for us, day in the life style. I know how easy it is to just share the perfectly Pinterest Instagrammed me. That is the thing about social media and blogging, the writer controls the content. What you don’t see is the behind the scenes messy side of real life everyday. Even here, in this space I often just share my highlight reel.
But, I am a real person living real life.
And yesterday was real…real rough.
2:45 am- The baby is starting to squeak and ready to nurse. I’m not ready to get out of bed. She’s not stopping so I peel myself out of my warm bed and kiss her head before she latches on. I close my eyes and doze while she eats.
3:15 am. I wake up on the couch. I am so tired that walking the 25 steps back to my bed seems as big as walking a mile.
5:00 am. I hear the coffee pot go off. Bless it, sweet nectar of the gods.
5:30 am. The baby is up again to nurse. I decide that since I’m already up and the coffee is done, I’ll just stay up. Maybe I’ll get enough time to write a well thought out sentence and be able to drink a HOT cup off coffee.
5:35 am. I hear little footsteps. Ah, the best laid plans.
5:37 am. I convince Malone to snuggle with me in bed for a bit. I cuddle close to him. My freshly poured cup of coffee still sits on the table.
6:15 am. Lola is squeaking and needs her pacifier to fall back to sleep. Malone has fallen back asleep, but will wake if I move away from him. Honestly, I wish we had a robot or a nanny or even a clever dog. I don’t want to get out of bed, I’m cozy here with Malone. Someone is going to be the loser in this situation. And that someone’s name is MOMMY.
6:17 am. Malone is up and Lola has fallen back asleep. I take a drink of my cold coffee.
7:00 am. Malone comes to me and is upset his paper has a hole in it. He’s frustrated and mad. He’s trying to draw something on computer paper with a marker.
7:30 am. My husband is doing a frantic search for his swimming goggles. He wants to swim at the gym during his lunch break. I haven’t seen them. IN MONTHS.
7:45 am. I make play date plans to go to a new park.
8:15 am. Mike leaves without his goggles but with a packed lunch (made by me). There is something funky about this morning. I can’t put my finger on it.
8:20 am. Lola is waking up for the day. I pick her up out of the swing and get ready to nurse on the couch. I go to sit down and spy the reason why Malone’s paper had holes in it earlier. He was trying to color on it with it on the couch. The surface was too soft, the marker poked through the paper, and now marker is all over my couch. The couch is light blue, the marker is black. Washable, but still black.
8:21 am. I yell. I’m mad. I say mean things in a mean voice about coloring on the couch and using markers. I threaten to take away all of Malone’s markers. He freaks. I’m freaking. Lola is yelling too.
8:23 am. I take a deep breath and look at our coffee table. It is full of last night’s dishes, a game Mike and Malone played yesterday afternoon, books, and random kid stuff. There isn’t a clear space to set down a coffee cup, or for a preschooler to stand at and draw. Shoot… this isn’t his fault. It is OUR fault. He would have chosen to color at the table if there was space. I know he would of.
8:25 am. Let the angry texts to Michael begin. I’ve already been all sorts of ugly to my kid, might as well be all sorts of ugly to my husband too.
9:00 am. I feed the kids and grab a bite of bagel myself. I drink another cold cup of coffee before getting Malone and Lola ready for our play date. I apologize to Malone for being so mean earlier, fighting back tears as I do so. He’s still mad at me and says I need to think about my actions. He’s right.
9:45 am. Malone asks to hold my hand while we walk to the car and tells me I’m the prettiest Mommy he knows.
9:50 am. I send SOS prayer texts to my bloggy besties because I am teetering on the brink of hot mess. And my hot mess level is nearing the level of Miley Cyrus at the VMAs. Didn’t her mama ever tell her that her face would freeze like that? And shoot. DON’T even get me started on the rest of her body or how she chose to use it.
10:00 am. I decide to hit Dunkin Donuts for coffee. In efforts to reverse my karma for this day, I ask to pay for the order behind us at the drive through and proceed to spill my iced coffee all over my pants. I bite my tongue while I curse loudly in my head.
10:15 Time for our play date. My friend Sarah, who blogs at Little Bins For Little Hands (it is all about preschoolers and sensory activities) is there with her husband and son. The kids run off and we spend the next several hours playing with the kids, chatting, and enjoying life. Lollie spends most of her time catching rays or in the arms of friends.
2:00 pm Time to finally go. We stop to take this picture on the way out of the park.
Fall in New England. Super pretty, don’t you think?
2:30 pm. Malone wants peanut butter and jelly. He wants to make it himself and I don’t have the energy to fight him.
2:35 pm. He’s done. And now I get to mop my floor. WTF, Monday? You and I are NO LONGER FRIENDS. I decide to wage war on my house. If nothing else, I can take my frustration out and get a clean house.
4:00 pm The doorbell rings. It is our neighbor, Grammie Jo (as Malone calls her). We welcome her in. Malone entertains her, we chat, and she holds Lola. Not soon after Mike arrives home too. He think’s he is walking into a war zone. Instead, he’s greeted by Grammie Jo’s dog, Abbey.
5:30 pm. I escape to Panera with my laptop. I experience first world blogger problems- there isn’t a table available with an outlet. Clearly the universe hates me today. I’ve become that stalky creep, waiting for someone to leave so I can take their spot. They’re NOT EVEN using their outlet.
9:0o pm. Home, pajamas, bed. Do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars. I go to bed thankful I’m here but determined to make tomorrow better.
I know this was about 750 words longer than what I usually write. So, if you stuck it through to the end, thank you. I felt the details of this day were important so I put my Big Girl Panties on to share it with you. I hope you laughed and cried along with me as you read it.
We all have bad days, and sometimes those bad days don’t get better until bedtime. But the good news is that we get to try again the next day. And the even better news is that there is beauty in the vulnerable moments. Even if we can’t see them right away.
If you were to do a day in the life for yesterday, what would it look like?
Thanks for being brave enough to share!
Saddest part – when you realized the table was too full for him to color…
Maddest part – when you spilled the coffee!!!!!!!!!!
Happiest part – when you got to go back to bed!
ronnie recently posted..Dinosaur Craziness
Going back to bed was my happiest part to! Yesterday was a great day though so things are back on track!
Thanks so much for reminding us that YES moms have awful days and two young kids is a serious drain on all their adult caretakers, even if we love them to death, and you aren’t a bad mom for not being blissed out every minute. May I suggest something though? If you’re drinking caffeinated coffee, it might be making you more irritable and even more tired? Its tough to go through withdrawal, but I began noticing myself flipping more when coffee was consumed, feeling edgy and a bit more uncontrollable – more prone to raging about stuff and feeling an irritable crash after. I just remembered how much more easily I flip out with the kids when I have coffee, yelling or just acting very snappy while also internally asking myself, “why so mad?!” When I don’t have coffee, sure I’m tired and hazy on those sleep-deprived days, but I’m a lot more in control! Just a thought since the coffee in your story reminded me. I was really glad that I figured out that coffee makes me bitchy (my husband noticed too) because it was something I could cut out and feel better (after withdrawal week!) pretty quickly. I slept a lot better once I got off the coffee-merry-go-round too! If I really need a boost, I drink “Perfect Energy” tea from Yogi Teas, a much smoother and calmer energy fix. I looove coffee though and still sneak some here and there, just no longer keep a coffeepot at home, and we’re all a little less grumpy for it, haha!
Thanks for the idea about the coffee! I’ve cut it out before and didn’t notice a difference. I did notice a huge difference when I cut Diet Coke out last fall! Being a mom is draining sometimes, you are right!
I agree about the coffee but I still have a cup a day! 🙂
Nancy recently posted..One Month.
This is SO GOOD. Not that you had a rough day. Goodness no. BUT. That it shows that every SECOND of a mom’s day is filled with utter chaos. And you captured that with humor and honesty, two of my fave things 🙂
christie elkins recently posted..31 Days of Encouragement Unexpected, Day 15: leave a waitress a large tip.
Thank you for those kind words Christie! Your encouragement is infectious!
How about a day in the life of me on Saturday when I used a variation of a certain D word several times while on the phone with my whining to stay at her friend’s house 9 yo while driving and almost having a wreck (hence the d-word) and the 3 yo is shrieking in the backseat because I left her goody bag at the park birthday party?
This post seriously rocks.
I have several d words in my vocabulary.. they have all come out in the care. Not gonna lie, the rest of the letters of one of them is ouche..
Oh my friend, how I laughed at the spilled ice coffee and Miley Cyrus comments. I have been there too many times to count. Screaming kids, permanent pen on the walls, spilled cereal, phone in cup Holder with water, dirty diapers, unexpected bill, phone call from crazy friend…it’s all happened. But you will survive and I’m glad to stand with you and pray for sanity and peace.
I am so glad you laughed! I was going to try to find an image of Miley, but then I realized I didn’t want my readers’s eyes to bleed! Nothing is forever…nothing is forever… that is my new mantra!
Oh I was holding my breath exhausted for you and remembering these years myself. So relieved when you enjoyed some grown up company and rest at the park. Take care.
Karen Main recently posted..An Unusual Flower, a Cheeky Visitor and a Moment of Bliss.
This give me hope, Karen. Hope to know these days aren’t forever and there will be a time that I look back on this post fondly and smile!
Ah, bedtime. That’s usually when the days look up for me. 😉
Shell recently posted..Pour Your Heart Out: I Drug My Child
Bedtime was AMAZING that day! For sure. I usually give a silent cheer when the kids are finally asleep, but crawling into bed that night was the best thing that happened all day!
Your honesty tells me my days aren’t so out of the ordinary! I have grown to hate Saturdays because I am home with my three all by myself all the time. I get mad because I would like for my husband to *get* to have some fun with us as a family, and also because I wish he would *have* to put up with some of the crap that I do!
Rabia @TheLiebers recently posted..The Sunshine Award
Nope! Those rough days are 100% NORMAL. My husband likes to go for a long run (read several hour) on Saturday morning. That can be a hard pill to swallow after a rough week!
The time between 9:00 and 9:45 had me grabbing my heart. I love his words! He has a great teacher, mama. 750 too many words or not, I was with you the whole time. Love your words too. So glad to visit today from (in)couraging.
Thank you so much Tara! It was a doozy of a day, but you are right- he’s a sweet guy!
I love coffee. I started putting mine right into a travel mug. Stays hot longer. Or an old dunkin cup. lol….sounds ridiculous, but those cups have staying hot super powers. Anyway, thank you for being real.
I was so mean to my daughter the other day that I broke down outside of the pre-school room apologizing to her. I am sure people were staring. She even rubbed my face with her soft little hand and said, “Mommy, I know you love me…it’s ok.” Ugh…I can’t even write this without feeling tears.
Anyway, I believe transparency keeps us all sane. Thank you….Again, for your ability to speak truth through reality….and Miley. 😉
Coffee is the best invention ever. I wish I got to drink more of it hot! We all have horrid days as mothers, but it sounds like you went to her to make it right. We’re all just trying to do the best we can!
Ah yes. Those are the days, aren’t they? The days we just have to laugh about, or we’ll cry. 🙂 One of my ‘best’ was when I had three kids in the bath tub at the same time — I was trying to comb my daughter’s Afro, and she was screaming and sobbing hysterically. Cue doorbell. I turn the corner to answer the door, welcome in my professional model friend with no children, turn around again to tend to my kids … and there are the too boys, dripping and naked in the hallway, while their sobbing sister sat in a tubful of vomit. She had cried so hard she threw up with all three kids in the tub. :-/ Thankfully, days like that are now few and far between. 🙂 Strength to you, sister! 😉
Oh my goodness! Now THAT is a story! How did your friend react? Thanks for sharing with me, it is good to know I’m not alone.