I’m ripping down the veil today to share how yesterday went for us, day in the life style. I know how easy it is to just share the perfectly Pinterest Instagrammed me. That is the thing about social media and blogging, the writer controls the content. What you don’t see is the behind the scenes messy side of real life everyday. Even here, in this space I often just share my highlight reel.

But, I am a real person living real life.

And yesterday was real…real rough.

2:45 am- The baby is starting to squeak and ready to nurse. I’m not ready to get out of bed. She’s not stopping so I peel myself out of my warm bed and kiss her head before she latches on. I close my eyes and doze while she eats.

3:15 am. I wake up on the couch. I am so tired that walking the 25 steps back to my bed seems as big as walking a mile.

5:00 am. I hear the coffee pot go off. Bless it, sweet nectar of the gods.

5:30 am. The baby is up again to nurse. I decide that since I’m already up and the coffee is done, I’ll just stay up. Maybe I’ll get enough time to write a well thought out sentence and be able to drink a HOT cup off coffee.

5:35 am. I hear little footsteps. Ah, the best laid plans.

5:37 am. I convince Malone to snuggle with me in bed for a bit. I cuddle close to him. My freshly poured cup of coffee still sits on the table.

6:15 am. Lola is squeaking and needs her pacifier to fall back to sleep. Malone has fallen back asleep, but will wake if I move away from him. Honestly, I wish we had a robot or a nanny or even a clever dog. I don’t want to get out of bed, I’m cozy here with Malone.  Someone is going to be the loser in this situation. And that someone’s name is MOMMY.

6:17 am. Malone is up and Lola has fallen back asleep. I take a drink of my cold coffee.

7:00 am. Malone comes to me and is upset his paper has a hole in it. He’s frustrated and mad. He’s trying to draw something on computer paper with a marker.

7:30 am. My husband is doing a frantic search for his swimming goggles. He wants to swim at the gym during his lunch break. I haven’t seen them. IN MONTHS.

7:45 am. I make play date plans to go to a new park.

8:15 am. Mike leaves without his goggles but with a packed lunch (made by me). There is something funky about this morning. I can’t put my finger on it.

8:20 am. Lola is waking up for the day. I pick her up out of the swing and get ready to nurse on the couch. I go to sit down and spy the reason why Malone’s paper had holes in it earlier. He was trying to color on it with it on the couch. The surface was too soft, the marker poked through the paper, and now marker is all over my couch. The couch is light blue, the marker is black. Washable, but still black.

8:21 am. I yell. I’m mad. I say mean things in a mean voice about coloring on the couch and using markers. I threaten to take away all of Malone’s markers. He freaks. I’m freaking. Lola is yelling too.

8:23 am. I take a deep breath and look at our coffee table. It is full of last night’s dishes, a game Mike and Malone played yesterday afternoon, books, and random kid stuff. There isn’t a clear space to set down a coffee cup, or for a preschooler to stand at and draw. Shoot… this isn’t his fault. It is OUR fault. He would have chosen to color at the table if there was space. I know he would of.

8:25 am. Let the angry texts to Michael begin. I’ve already been all sorts of ugly to my kid, might as well be all sorts of ugly to my husband too.

9:00 am. I feed the kids and grab a bite of bagel myself. I drink another cold cup of coffee before getting Malone and Lola ready for our play date.  I apologize to Malone for being so mean earlier, fighting back tears as I do so. He’s still mad at me and says I need to think about my actions. He’s right.

9:45 am. Malone asks to hold my hand while we walk to the car and tells me I’m the prettiest Mommy he knows.

9:50 am. I send SOS prayer texts to my bloggy besties because I am teetering on the brink of hot mess. And my hot mess level is nearing the level of Miley Cyrus at the VMAs. Didn’t her mama ever tell her that her face would freeze like that? And shoot. DON’T even get me started on the rest of her body or how she chose to use it.

10:00 am. I decide to hit Dunkin Donuts for coffee. In efforts to reverse my karma for this day, I ask to pay for the order behind us at the drive through and proceed to spill my iced coffee all over my pants. I bite my tongue while I curse loudly in my head.

10:15 Time for our play date. My friend Sarah, who blogs at Little Bins For Little Hands (it is all about preschoolers and sensory activities) is there with her husband and son. The kids run off  and we spend the next several hours playing with the kids, chatting, and enjoying life.  Lollie spends most of her time catching rays or in the arms of friends.

Lola In The Sun

2:00 pm Time to finally go. We stop to take this picture on the way out of the park.

Fall in New England. Super pretty, don’t you think?

View From Mt. Tom

2:30 pm. Malone wants peanut butter and jelly. He wants to make it himself and I don’t have the energy to fight him.

2:35 pm. He’s done. And now I get to mop my floor. WTF, Monday? You and I are NO LONGER FRIENDS.  I decide to wage war on my house. If nothing else, I can take my frustration out and get a clean house.

PBJ

4:00 pm The doorbell rings. It is our neighbor, Grammie Jo (as Malone calls her). We welcome her in. Malone entertains her, we chat, and she holds Lola. Not soon after Mike arrives home too. He think’s he is walking into a war zone. Instead, he’s greeted by Grammie Jo’s dog, Abbey.

5:30 pm. I escape to Panera with my laptop. I experience first world blogger problems- there isn’t a table available with an outlet. Clearly the universe hates me today. I’ve become that stalky creep, waiting for someone to leave so I can take their spot. They’re NOT EVEN using their outlet.

9:0o pm. Home, pajamas, bed. Do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars. I go to bed thankful I’m here but determined to make tomorrow better.

I know this was about 750 words longer than what I usually write. So, if you stuck it through to the end, thank you. I felt the details of this day were important so I put my Big Girl Panties on to share it with you. I hope you laughed and cried along with me as you read it.

We all have bad days, and sometimes those bad days don’t get better until bedtime. But the good news is that we get to try again the next day. And the even better news is that there is beauty in the vulnerable moments. Even if we can’t see them right away.

If you were to do a day in the life for yesterday, what would it look like?