Ask Away Friday With Adrienne From The Mommy Mess

Ask Away Friday is a great link up where two bloggers trade 10 questions, answer those questions, and then link up. It has turned in to a really sweet and supportive little community. If you’d like to trade questions sometime, let me know! I am having button issues, but this link up is hosted by Amber from Bold Fab Mom, Stacy from This Momma’s Ramblings, Tiffany from Mrs. Tee, and Penny from the Real Housewife Of Caroline Country. 

For this week’s edition of Ask Away Friday, I paired up with Adrienne from The Mommy Mess. Adrienne’s blog is one of the very first one’s I started reading. I think I found her via Things I Can’t Say, but I can’t remember for sure. I love Adrienne because she’s witty, smart, and not afraid to give you the real of what is happening in her world.

Mommy Mess Ask Away Friday

1. You and your husband met online and lived happily ever after. I think that’s super cool! Did you have reservations about online dating prior to meeting your husband? How did your family react to your online relationship/engagement announcement?

I didn’t have any at all, if you can believe it. We met in 2003, before the internet was full of scary creeps. I don’t know that I would try internet dating now. A few months after we started dating, I brought Michael and his mom home to meet my family in Illinois a few months. It was love at first sight between everyone, so they were thrilled when we got engaged a few years later.

2. I love the name of your blog! Would you say that “a cookie before dinner” sums up your parenting philosophy? What’s the biggest parenting “rule” you’ve ever broken?

No, I wouldn’t say that. My parenting philosophy is this- fight for your child instead of with them. There are very few things in life that are worth an epic power struggle. Our rules and boundaries are very clear. But if something happens outside of those, we are much more likely to give grace and second chances than we are give a hard and fast punishment. And often times, if Malone is acting out it is because there is a larger heart issue going on. We’d rather get to the bottom of that than send him to his room for a time out. Everyday, we’re fighting for the character of our kids instead of battling with them. Does that make sense?

3. You’ve written about dealing with grief on your blog. What’s something that helps you during those dark days when the sadness washes over you? I’ve been missing my grandmother so much and would love your advice.

The best thing you can do for yourself is to embrace the waves of grief when they come. Nothing good will come of stuffing those feelings back inside. Typically, I have a big ugly cry, write, and then take a nap. For some reason, those big cries are super draining.

4. How did you begin blogging?

I started a million years  ago on Blogger. I think it was in the fall of 2002. I was kissing boys and breaking hearts all over Boston. I used to write about my adventures. I wish I could remember the name of that blog, I’m sure it is still floating around somewhere.

5. Wine or beer?

I don’t drink often.  The only time I really have a drink is when there is a reason to celebrate with champagne. And even then, I usually only take a sip or two. Last weekend we toasted Grammie’s 90th birthday. I had two glasses of champagne and a headache for three days.

6. What season do you feel best suites your personality?

Hmm.. good question. I wasn’t sure how to answer this, so I texted my blog bestie Christie. She said spring and I think I agree with her. Sunny, bright, warm. Cheerful. Full of energy and a fresh take on life. Those are all words I’d use to describe myself.

With that being said, summer in New England is my favorite of all.

7. I know you have two adorable children. Do plan to have more? Or is two your magic number?

Two is not a magic number. Both Michael and I agree that we’ve got room in our hearts and our family isn’t complete. But right now we don’t have room in our house or car, so a few things will need to change before we can grow our family. Malone is ready for another baby. He’s smitten with Lola and loves being a big brother.

8. I love your post, 10 Commandments of Blogging! Seriously? I need to print it out and paste in above my computer. That’s how awesome I think it is. Which commandment would you say you struggle with the most?

Aw, you are so sweet! I’m glad you liked it! You are the second person who has told me that they want it made into something that they can print, so I just might have to make one for you all! I struggle with all of them almost everyday, except the captcha one. Right now, the hardest one of all is commenting. I want to read and reply to everyone. And I want to visit their blog and comment there too. There just aren’t enough hours in my day because Lola isn’t sleeping well. There is a season for everything, right?

9. Are a romantic? Valentine’s is right around the corner! What does Valentine’s Day look like for your and your hubby?

Neither one of us are mushy romantics. We will celebrate Valentine’s Day the way we always do, with take out Chinese food. We’d rather stay in and go out a different night. We don’t get take out often, so it is a treat. Nothing on the menu is off limits, so we usually end up with a feast and eating the leftovers all week!

10. When do you get time alone? How do you like to spend that time?

The only time I really get alone time is if I get up before the kids do. Ideally, I like t be up around 4:30 am. If I am diligent about peeling myself out of bed, I typically have two solid hours to myself before the kids wake up. Right now, I am living and breathing this blog because I’ve got some pretty big first quarter goals. In addition to posting 3-4 times a week, there are a lot of things happening behind the scenes!

Other than blogging, I love to read. Right now I’m reading Notes From A Blue Bike by Tsh Oxenreider and it is really inspiring.

I dream of 48 hours alone in a hotel room with wifi, chick flicks, and room service. That might happen for real later on this spring. I need a sleepcation.


  1. 1

    Adrienne says

    I love your answers!! I laughed out loud on #7 when you said you have room in your heart, just not your house or car! HAHA!! you’re my kind of friend, NJ. I need coffee in New England! XO Thanks for inviting me to play along. ;)
    Adrienne recently posted..Ask Away Friday with A Cookie Before DinnerMy Profile

    • 2

      NJ says

      It is true, Adrienne! We’ve totally got room in our hearts for more children. It is just our cars and house that need to grow first! My mommy car is a Subaru Forrester, and it can only fit two car seats in the back!

  2. 3

    Nancy says

    A sleepcation in a hotel room is on my list for this year, too! I can’t wait…
    Nancy recently posted..Beyond UnitaskingMy Profile

    • 4

      NJ says

      Maybe we can plan one for the same time. I think I want to run away for a few days to a bed and breakfast or some place where there really is NOTHING to do but be lazy with a good book!

  3. 5

    Kim says

    I LOVE your answer to that 2nd question! I don’t know that I’ve ever worded it like that but I feel the exact same way about my boys – I definitely prefer to fight for my boys character over fighting them over the little things that don’t matter in the big picture!!
    Kim recently posted..Someone Stole My IdentityMy Profile

    • 6

      NJ says

      I refuse to engage in power struggles most of the time. There are VERY FEW things that are worth the time, effort, and heartache that get thrown out in one. I’d much rather get to the root of the issue than battle.

  4. 7

    Stacey Gannett (This Momma's Ramblings) says

    I would love just a couple of days at a hotel with the hubby, but if we do anything that will involve a hotel, it will be with the kiddies, too. But someplace close, I have no desire to drive for 24 hours to get to a destination, only to be exhausted when we get there. I may suggest Arby’s to the hubby for Valentines day, Burger King for his b-day (what he wants) which is 5 days after mine and Hometown Buffet for mine which falls 7 days after Valentines day. Unless we make a trip to a Bonanza a few miles away, because they have a Russell Stover outlet store nearby! :) There goes the diet! LOL! Have a great weekend, NJ!
    Stacey Gannett (This Momma’s Ramblings) recently posted..#AskAwayFriday 27 with Bonnie the LadyBlogger!My Profile

    • 8

      NJ says

      We’ve got a nice hotel just up the road from our house. I think it is half a mile a way or so. I’d love to sneak off for a day or two so I could recharge!

      We don’t eat a ton of fast food, but we love to get Chinese food once in awhile. I’m looking forward to sesame chicken and an egg roll!

  5. 9

    Sarah @ Beauty School Dropout says

    OH MY GOODNESS… 4:30am?! I’ve already wondered how people had time to do all the blogging, and blog reading and commenting that they do…but that early just could never work for me. I hope you go to bed early, too!

    I love (LOVE) your parenting philosophy. I feel like mine is still evolving, because Josiah was such an easy baby and 2 yr old… it’s just been in the last year that we’ve really struggled with listening, defiance, and how to handle discipline. I know so much of that is just his age and a hug is going to do so much more than yelling or spanking… but it’s certainly making me grow as a person to have the patience to give the right response at the right time.

    Summers in New England sound so fun!
    Sarah @ Beauty School Dropout recently posted..I talk blogging (and books and food, of course!) with Shana NorrisMy Profile

  6. 10

    NJ says

    Sarah, my alarm goes off at 4:30 am, but I’m almost never out of bed until closer to five. It is really the only time of day that I can count on having a quiet house. Lola is only 5 months old and a complete wild card when it comes to sleep. She naps really well during the day, but her nights are really unpredictable. I used to be a night owl, but then I had kids!

  7. 11

    Rene says

    Hello popping by from SITS Girls Comment Love Tribe. What a great interview and some beautiful answers. I can feel her grace and kindness from the answers. If that doesn’t sound really weird! I’m not all the excited about 4:30am though xo

  8. 12

    Raquel @ Organized Island says

    I love reading Ask Away Friday posts! I really enjoyed your 10 commandments of blogging and I agree you have to pick your battles with kids. Visiting from SITS – hope you have a great day!

  9. 13

    Michelle says

    What fun answers! You really have a way with words. Summer is my favorite too…right now I am wishing for it instead of thinking about yet another storm! And I love that picture of Malone and Lola…it is so adorable!
    Michelle recently posted..Thank You, Coach {Guest Post}My Profile

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