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From the time he could tell us, Malone’s favorite color has been pink. Yellow is a very close second. Followed then by rainbow. Rainbow. That kid is wise. If you can’t choose one, just pick them all.
Although it hasn’t always been easy to find pink attire without ruffles or sequins, he has amassed quite a stash of pink to choose from. If it is clean, he wants to wear it out and about. We have embraced our pink loving boy.
The other night it was pajama night at his preschool gymnastics class. He was so excited to wear pj’s out of the house. Everyday I’d ask, “which ones do you want to wear Malone?” And very excitedly he’d reply, “the pink ones with the pretty princess on them.”
Que mama doubt. I worried all week about pajama day.
It is only preschool gymnastics. But I worried about what the other moms would think about Malone. And I worried about what the kids in his class might say to him.
Would they tease him? Would they call him a girl?
The world can be such a cruel place, especially for those who swim upstream instead of going with the flow.
I wondered if I should just tell him they were dirty. Maybe I could hide them while he wasn’t looking. But that didn’t seem like I was being faithful to anyone. I wasn’t being faithful to Malone’s choice and I wasn’t being faithful to my parenting philosophies. I do not tire of letting the world know that Malone loves pink.
I want him to know that he can love what he loves.
Openly. Freely. Without fear.
And I want him to know that as his mama I will be there at every turn as he navigates his world. To support him. To encourage him. To teach him to stand up for what he believes in and loves.
Pink pajamas and all.
Oh, and as it turns out, his teacher is a HUGE Strawberry Shortcake fan and was stoked to see Malone’s pajamas. The whole night ended up being no big deal at all. I spent a week worrying for no reason.
Lesson learned.
This post has been updated and originally appeared on A Cookie Before Dinner in January of 2013. Malone has since changed his mind about pink and loves white best of all these days. Rainbow is still a second favorite. I republished this because I recently read Underground Girls Of Kabul by journalist Jenny Nordberg, who discovers a secret Afghani practice where girls are dressed and raised as boys.
Join From Left to Write on September 16th as we discuss The Underground Girls of Kabul. As a member, I received a copy of the book for review purposes.
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My 3 year old always tells us that his favorite color is pink. Sometimes it changes to green or blue, but more often than not it is pink. I have wondered these same things. If people would make fun of him. If I should tell him to pick a ‘boy’ color. But I have realized that by doing that I was holding him back from who he is. And as his mom, I never want to do that. I will support him and encourage him to stand up for who he is.
I’m glad Malone went in those pajamas. And I’m so happy that the night went so smoothly for you!
Kimberly recently posted..Just A Dream
I really struggled with worry over this one. Mostly about if he would be teased or feel uncomfortable in some way. I know that it WILL happen some day. And my heart will shatter when it does. As for the pink, I love that he loves it. I love searching for things of his “best color” to wear. I’m glad to hear there is another sometimes pinkie out there!
And look how cute he is! My oldest used to love pink. He had quite a few pink polo shirts or long sleeve dress shirts with pink in them somehow. I figured that was a good compromise. And Daddy wears pink shirts like that.
But I admit, I hesitated beyond that. It’s a balance between what he wants and keeping him from being teased. I know I should teach him to be whoever he is and not worry about what other kids would say- but I do. You handled it better than I would have.
Shell recently posted..Pour Your Heart Out: What Happened to that Girl?
Thanks Shell!
Go, you! I love what you had to say about basing your decision around being faithful to something. I don’t really get why people feel comfortable making assumptions or judgments based on a kid’s color pallet of choice. My kid has a shirt with ninjas on it. No one is like, “Wow. This kid clearly is going to be a Ninja and/or grows up in a household of Ninjas.” It’s just fabric, you know?
Larks (@LarksNotesThis) recently posted..We don’t hit people, Kevin.
Maybe your kids will be ninjas! I hate that people make assumptions based on color choices!
I love mamas like you! I don’t have a boy who wants to wear pink yet, but one of my boys DID request a pink penny board for Christmas this year, and I was like, “Yes! He’s confident enough that he wants a pink Penny board!” (Penny board is a skate board, by the way, and this son is 9 years old) The first day he went outside to ride it, he took it to the skate park. One kid said, “Pink? Really?” and my son just smiled and took off down the ramp, popping up on the other side of the bowl. Confidence. I love it. And your boy will be the same way, as this kind of confidence is taught early on as a result of the parents’ approval and unconditional love. So I say, bring on the pink pajamas!
Thanks! I’ve heard that penny boards are all the rage these days! Good for your son for rocking a pink one!
You are such a good mom! I think it’s important that they can be themselves.
Thanks for stopping by my blog.
Sandy
Thank you! Hopefully my hard work will now will pay off later!
It’s just a color and I think everyone’s lives would be easier if we all understood that. Kids see a pretty color and a character they like, they don’t see gender roles. Good for you for sticking with his decision.
Julia recently posted..Good Enough
I agree 100% about the color thing. I wish that people didn’t push others into a box just because of pink or blue!
We went through purple then green. Now it’s blue. Good for you for honoring his preferences
Thanks! I love that he loves pink.
I love this post!! When my youngest was 3 he loved Tinker Bell. He loved it so much that he chose to have a Tinker Bell birthday party and we thought it was great!!! Another time the show Disney CARS was playing at our community center and they sold snow cone plastic cups. His cousin chose the CARS cup but our little one…..he chose the pink Tinker Bell cup and was in heaven. I think it is great to embrace what they like…even if it is a little on the feminine side. They should be able to have just as much fun as the girls and vice versa. I think it is great when little girls like boy stuff. Good for you for little your little boy wear what he loves!!!
Anna recently posted..A Year Ago I Was Diagnosed With Cancer And Today….I’m A Survivor!!
I have a nephew that was that way. I think his Mom handled it so well, very matter-of-fact and accepting. I think because they didn’t make a big deal about it, and let him enjoy what he liked, it didn’t get to be a power struggle. When he started school, they started to gently encourage him to take more interest in boy things to minimize the teasing. He’s about 8 now and he has lost a lot of his interest in pink things, but it was a gentle and non-traumatic process and he does much better with friends now. Kids are so unkind in situations where someone is different, but you have to balance that with kids ability to express themselves and be happy. I hope you find a good balance with your son.
Adrian recently posted..Sibling Rivalry vs. Bullying
oh girl! good for you! My son is 8 and has ALWAYS loved pink and purple. I’ve had the same struggles with wondering if I should let him do his things, but when it comes down to it, I always do! I never want to stifle his confidence and teach him to be somebody he’s not. He used to sport a hot pink bat at T-ball, and he used it with pride! He usually gets the “girl” toy at mcd’s b/c he likes those choices better. So what?! I hate that they call it a “girl” toy or a “boy” toy! Why can’t they just say “build-a-bear” or “hot wheel”? Good for you!
Adrienne recently posted..Custom iPhone Case Giveaway from Case Pics!
It can be so hard to find the balance, it really can!
[…] no longer his favorite color. His new favorite color is rainbow. Since he’s always been a pink loving boy, I was a bit shocked by his declaration. But it has come on his own terms (not because he was […]
I think you handled the situation perfectly, NJ. I’m glad Malone’s teacher handled it well too. It’s funny, because at a certain age it seems to be cool for boys to wear pink. James’ friends wear pink socks, and he picked out a pink t-shirt when we were buying a vacation souvenir.
And you can never go wrong with rainbow.
Dana recently posted..My Other Ex
My daughter says the rainbow is her favorite color too! Love that your son can be who he wants to be, great story!
Lauren recently posted..Making a Date
With girls, I’ve had it “easy.” Stella likes to dress like a “boy” sometimes and I feel like that is more “acceptable” to society than a boy who wants to wear pink, so I didn’t have the same sense of trepidation. But now that I have a boy, I guess the true test is bound to come.
Nancy recently posted..Menu Mondays: The Back to School Edition
Sometimes following your heart is hard, especially when you’re worried your children might be hurt. So glad that you’ve surrounded your son with such a loving community! And yes, Strawberry Shortcake DOES rock.
Thien-Kim recently posted..10 Gifts For Book Lovers That Are Not Books
[…] NJ from A Cookie Before Dinner struggles with letting her pink loving preschool boy wear his pink pajamas out of the house. […]
So glad everything worked out and he wasn’t teased. It’s a tough decision to make and I don’t envy you, but sounds like you got your head and your heart in the right place so no matter what he will always know that you love and accept him.
Alicia S recently posted..The World At My Fingertips and How It Has Changed How I Read Books
Glad you had nothing to worry about! But definitely a valid fear considering bullying and teasing. You must also worry about his favorite color being white because it gets dirty so easily 🙂