At 34 weeks pregnant my body is starting to really slow down. I just can’t keep the same pace I could a few weeks ago. Malone and I still go off on daily adventures but I find myself sitting on the sidelines more and more.
I’m stuck in the middle of life. In a few weeks, our whole world is going to change again when little lady makes her big debut. The past life of a mama to just one going to be gone. The future will be here. But for now, I’m right in the middle of present. I can see ahead a little bit and guess about how things will be. And when I do so, I mourn for where I currently am in the present. Mama to one. Focused just on Malone. Does that make any sense?
I’m trying to really savor these last few weeks. To drink in every little nuance and detail of the babyhood I can still see in Malone. To read the same book over and over again because it makes him laugh so hard. He thinks it is “mysterical.” To try to carry him, even though I shouldn’t be- for soon my arms will be full with someone new who can’t walk on their own. To invite him in for an extra cuddle in my arms, even though my bump is getting in the way. To get down on the floor and really play with him, even though I feel like I need a forklift to help me get back up.
I know that in just a few weeks he is going to seem oh so big. And that he’s going to have to be big. Because there is a little coming soon who is going to change our family for the better. The growth will be painful at times I’m sure.
But for now, I’m going to focus on our happy little present.
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So beautiful! I so vividly remember having those exact same feelings before our second was born, and you captured that perfectly. Enjoy your moments!
Monica recently posted..Present (FMF #43)
I am so glad to hear that this is a “normal” feeling Monica!
Praying for you.
denise recently posted..FMF-Present
Thank you Denise! I really appreciate it!
You document this moment of in-between so well. The moment of a mother living in the present with just one child, ready to be a momma to more. May you find blessings in the moments of the present today.
Ruth
Ruth Ayres recently posted..{present}: five minute friday
Thank you so much Ruth, for your kind words. It is such a weirdly hard spot to be in. I know we’ll be just fine, if I can stop worrying about it.
Thank you so much for your comments! congratulations on your pregnancy and I wish you only success and wonderment with your last weeks. Lovies, Samara
Thank you!
Going from one to two was really hard for me. I am glad you are taking some time to be extra present with your son before his sister arrives. Blessings to you as you finish out your pregnancy and move on to mothering two.
Rabia @ TheLiebers recently posted..Five Minute Friday: Present
I’ve heard that the jump is really really hard. Also, motherhood with a preschooler is easy breezy sometimes because he is old enough to go on his own and play for a bit. Starting back at ground zero scares me, but there isn’t much I can do about it now!
Oh how I remember those feelings well. But it’s funny how one adapts as life changes. YOU will adapt well….and MALONE will adapt well…as well as DADDY! I love how you are mentally preparing yourself for the changes after birth, but also reveling in the here and now.
I’m working on it, Lisa! From what I’ve learned today, these feelings are pretty normal. Life will change, that is for sure!
Aw! This is so sweet. I remember those days well. Enjoy every moment! 🙂 –Lisa
The Dose of Reality recently posted..Pinterest Nightmare #728: Meggings
It is such a hard spot to be in, but I’m trying really really hard to be present!