I’ve got nothing.
Literally, nothing to offer you in this space today. So I’ll just write and we’ll see where this takes us.
I want to Pour My Heart out about being excited and scared and nervous and thrilled that 2.0 is coming. About how I stroll the aisles in stores wondering if 2.0 is a girl as I touch those tiny pretty dresses. I want to talk about how I can’t wait to see Malone become a big brother- to take the hand of 2.0 and show her how to play NASCAR and princesses, because he does both so well.
I want to Pour My Heart Out about why googling ex boyfriends isn’t a good idea because you never know what is going to pop up. I want to say that I’ve cried for the last 10 minutes because the one who I thought was the ONE when I am in college collapsed from an asthma attack and died leaving his wife, a baby on the way, a daughter, and a son who had cancer. It doesn’t seem fair. I’ll chalk it up to one more thing in life I’ll never understand. It happened a few years ago. I wonder how they all are now.
I want to Pour My Heart Out about how my husband has been a rock star lately. He’s taken the night shift with Malone because I can’t keep my eyes open past 7:45 pm. They stay up late and watch goofy movies like High School Musical until Malone passes out on the couch. I should care that the bed time routine we’ve worked so hard to establish is gone. But instead I only really care that Mike is getting a few extra minutes with Malone after not seeing him all day. It is weird that I’m the first one asleep almost every night. Dear 2nd trimester energy, feel free to come back ANY TIME.
I want to Pour My Heart Out about how winter and I are no longer friends. I’m tired of the cold, the grey, and the ugly snow. I have never felt the need to see spring so badly in my life. I need flip flops that show painted toes, play dates at the play ground, and to be able to explore outside without 15 layers. For the last two years it has been around 60 by St. Patrick’s Day. It is so cold and mopey here that I just can’t see it happening this year.