When I said “I do” to Michael, I also said “I do” to the most amazing mother in law ever. She’s one of my closest confidants. And she lives .7 miles from the beach on Cape Cod. It is the trifecta of awesome when we visit her- she’s beyond lovely and fun as a grown up, we’re at a beach house, and she’s a rock star grandmother.
We’ve spent the last week at the beach, are headed home for a few days and then coming back again. And I’ve got waves on my mind.
Sometimes they come to shore so strongly they knock me over with their force. Sometimes they are so meek and gentle that I can play cat and mouse with them as we dance together in frothy foam as it hits the shore. And sometimes I am so far out to sea that with a little courage and a lot of relaxation I can let them do all of the work as I ride all the way into the shore.
They’re unpredictable but steady. Forceful but soothing. I find comfort and anxiety in them, all at the same time. The anxiety comes in the false sense of calm. Knowing that at any moment that little wave that seemed so gentle and calm has steamrolled into something bigger than I think I can handle.
In those moments, the only thing to do is dive in head first and pray I don’t get swept away.