Lola had her one month appointment this week. Our pediatrician is retiring at the end of the month, so this appointment was our first well baby appointment with the new guy.
Our new pediatrician has wonderful bedside manner. He’s gentle, wise, and kind. Best of all, he speaks with grace and listens closely. He asks questions because he genuinely wants to know the answers. He’s someone who nailed it when it came to choosing a career for himself.
When Lola was born, I had to fill out a family medical history form. It was different than the one I had to fill out with Malone which just “father” and “mother.” Lola’s was an updated version. Father’s father. Father’s mother. Mother’s father. Mother’s mother.
“How are you doing?” he asked. “How are you really doing with a newborn and a preschooler?”
I was expecting that one. It is a pretty standard one here.
“I see alcoholism runs on your side,” he continued.
“Yeah, my mother was an alcoholic who’s cause of death was alcohol poisoning.” I replied.
I’ve owned this for a long time. I’m not shy about the reasons why I’m a motherless daughter.
“And what about you?” he questioned.
“I abstain unless there is a real reason to celebrate- you know like a wedding or a job promotion. Then, I enjoy a glass of champagne along with everyone else. I know it is genetic and I know I’m at risk.”
“You know, that is really wise. It truly is.” He went on. “Since we know the kids have likely have those genes too, it will be something to keep an eye on as they grow. When they are older, and if you’d like me to help you with the dialogue around that conversation from a medical point of view, I’d be happy to give you a framework. It is going to be a really important thing for them to understand when they reach their teenage years.”
Time has marched on since her death. However, that doesn’t change what was the cause of her death or how that is something I will carry with me for the rest of my life. But it was the first time I really had to own my mother’s alcoholism for my kids.
I have no choice to own it.
For the record, Lola is perfect. 10.5 pounds and 22.5 inches.
At Des’ 15-month appointment, they said something like, “Wow, your family history is extensive!” I got all defensive about it and said, “It’s not all bad! We mostly live until 100!” I think they meant that it’s because I filled it out so thoroughly but I thought they meant it’s because we have so much disease. Always the student, me – I love filling out forms.. Still, I have to own a lot – my father’s random heart disease, my uncle’s Parkinson’s, my grandmother’s breast cancer. It’s all in there!
Tamara recently posted..You Can Be A Hot Mess In The Game Of Life!
It makes me wonder if we saw the same person. And yeah, you’ve got a lot to own too. My next sentence was that my husband’s grandmothers are still kicking it at 87 and 93…
I applaud you for your understanding of the situation – so fantastic. Such a difficult thing to own but you’ve got it under control!
And, I want the name of that doctor…I’d be willing to drive the many hours for someone like that – amazing!
ronnie recently posted..Happy SITS Girl Day
Aw thanks Ronnie! If you drove hours to see him, then we could have a wild time together here in my Happy Valley!
I actually don’t know that much about my family’s medical history. I know more about my in laws medical history because we live close to them, but I should try to get more information on my side of the family.
Michelle recently posted..“Don’t Miss” Fall Photo Ideas and a Bonus Tip!
There is so much that can be done these days in terms of prevention and monitoring if know what you’re up against Michelle! My side of the family has quite a long list of medical things that I need to keep an eye on.
It’s so hard when there’s addiction that runs in the family. I know I stay well aware of my family’s history and monitor my own choices.
Shell recently posted..Soccer Mom Suppers: 15 Minute Pasta Romesco
I love the title of this post, and on my mother’s side we have this disease running in our blood. I’m the odd one in the family, I’m physically allergic to alcohol. I break out even if when I am smelling alcohol from the nearby person!
Thanks for visiting 🙂
Pragmatic Soul recently posted..Changes In the Wind
Wow.. physically allergic! I had no idea that could happen to someone! Is it hard to be around people who are drinking then? It must be right?!?
Do not lose heart. Alcoholism is an addiction. The propensity for addictions is genetic. I’ve experienced this. Some lose the bottle addiction and make it a hobby addiction(i.e. golf, fishing) and others become drug addictions.
I like this link: Says it all. Especially the last paragraph and I believe you’ve nailed that one. You are owning the “choice” to make a good decision.
http://www.disability-resource.com/medical-health/alcoholism/alcoholism-is-it-hereditary.php
And I know how much genetic predispositions hurt. Love you!
I haven’t lost heart Lisa! It is what it is. Thanks for the link- I’ll check it out!