One of my favorite songs in the entire world is Sunrays And Saturdays by Vertical Horizon. It is about a couple breaking up and wishing the best of life for each other.
I wish you…
Sunrays and Saturdays
Perfect starry nights
Sweet dreams and moonbeams
And a love that’s warm and bright
Sunrays and Saturdays
Friendship strong and true
Oceans of blue and a room with a view
To live the life you choose
For years I’ve struggled with friendship with other women and wished for friendships strong and true. By nature we’re too catty, love to nice on the surface and mean around the corner. I have “broken up” with not one but TWO toxic friends. I have been on the outside, looking in since middle school. I was a victim of bullying by a tribe of mean girls, back then it was just called “girls being girls.” I’ve been excluded, on purpose by friends getting together for girls night out.
I remember exactly how our friendship started. Her daughter was struggling and she asked for some advice on her blog. And instead of giving advice, I poured a encouragement in her comments.
From there, we became Facebook friends and eventually decided to get brave and exchange phone numbers.
One of my closest friends is someone I have never met face to face. My blogging journey has come full circle and God has been in every detail of it.
We talk several times a day, via text and Voxer (more on that next week). We share the same struggles and are in the same season of motherhood.
[Tweet “We know each other’s ugly messy unfine life. We are a friendship match that was made in heaven.”]
Our friendship is so strong that my husband even mentioned it in a job interview.
Those hurts ran deep but they have been healed.
I found friendship in the spouses of my husband’s college friends.
I found friendship in the mothers of the babies born the same summer of Malone.
I found my blogging tribe and online writing community.
I’m headed to three blogging conferences this year, a mini conference with the SITS girls in Boston, Blog U, and Allume. And I cannot wait to take those friendships offline and into real life.
Friendships strong and true.
Speaking of which, there is a really great online conference starting tonight called (in)RL (in real life). It was started for women like you and me- the seekers, the hurt, the hopers, the dreamers. For those of us who have been on the outside looking in, who want a seat on the friendship bench. You can go here to get more details.
I’m linking up today with Lisa Jo Baker’s Five Minute Friday.
Hey there! Dropping by from FMF.How amazing is that.. I have found a lot of like minded bloggers recently too..my blogging journey is relatively new 🙂
Hi Sabeeaha! Welcome to the blogging world! I hope you fall in love with blogging as much as I have. The relationships I’ve built through blogging have been amazing. Not only did I meet my best friend, I also met a bunch of other women that I adore!
It is amazing how God weaves & connects people. Like you, I am grateful for the connections I have found in & through blogging. I was your neighbor this morning at #FMFParty 🙂
Joanne Viola recently posted..Friend
It is so amazing, Joanne! Our stories matter and we matter to Him. He weaves us together so perfectly!
So true. All of it. I didn’t realize you were going to Allume! What an awesome experience for you.
Tara Newman recently posted..Practical Communication Tips to Build Healthy Relationships
Yep! I am headed to Allume this year too. AND with the friend I wrote about. It will likely be the first time we’ll meet face to face and I’m stoked. I have my ticket already, but there are still a ton of logistics to figure out (like hotel and how I’m getting there). I’m excited! I’m also excited to be your roomie for Blog U!
Cannot wait to hug your neck at Allume!! You are a joy and I always enjoy reading your posts!
Holly Barrett recently posted..Friend
Likewise, Holly! It is going to be a blast at Allume! I am thinking about coming in a day early, just because I want to spend as much time as I possibly can with people!
I was feeling badly because after I hit ‘publish’ on my post I had second thoughts about sharing my experiences about how friendships have always been hard for me–I’m glad that I’m not alone. Outside is such a tough place to be. I’m so glad that you’ve found a community and a true heart friend that hopefully you’ll be able to meet in person one of these days!
Anita Ojeda recently posted..Fickle Friend
I am so glad you hit publish on yours. I read your words and was glad to feel like I wasn’t the only one who had been hurt by friendship.
It has only been recently that I’ve felt a shift in my friendships. And I’m so thankful that there has bee one!
Beautiful thoughts. I’ve been there too with friends that were silently destroying me. Cutting them off is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I’m a simple girl who just wants to be appreciated for me. Finding people that will do that without reservation is a treasure.
Jenny recently posted..#AskAwayFriday With Tamara (Like) Camera!!!
Thank you Jenny! One of the hardest and bravest things I’ve ever done was walking away from friendships that weren’t healthy. It took a long time to heal from those hurts, but I’m much better off now!
I’m glad we’ve connected through blogging. I am looking forward to getting to know you better!
I agree that finding true & lasting friendship is not easy but I disagree with your general statement that women are catty and two-faced by nature. I think that has been your experience and I feel badly that you’ve had such negative, traumatic experiences! I know the feeling of being left out and not belonging. It has made me appreciate my healthy friendships that much more!
Nancy recently posted..My Writing Process
My middle school and high school days were horrific in a lot of ways. And even into my adulthood I’ve seen a lot of mean girls.
I’m also thankful for my healthy friendships, but I’ve had to weed out a lot of junk to get to the good ones along the way!
My hubby thinks that blogging is silly- he always has. BUT, a couple of my closest friends are friends I have found though this beautiful world of blogging! I love how God brings people into our lives in so many different ways!
Dropping by from FMF- have a great weekend!
I disagree with your husband! Blogging is great and can do amazing things! I am often amazed by how God weaves our stories and friendship together online.
NJ, I can’t wait to give you a big big hug at Allume. What a blessing all my online friends have been to me.
Amy P BoYd recently posted..Friend {Five- Minute Friday}
This weekend I met an online friend in real life for the first time. I hug tackled her. So, watch out! There are so many people I can’t wait to meet at Allume! I need to start making a list!
Friendship is definitely harder to find as we age, but when you find a good one you know. I was always the one reaching back to old friends and eventually decided it wasn’t worth my time anymore. So I let it go…and if they contact me it’s ok and I just take the friendship as it is. But it’s so refreshing when you do find new friends that just get you…and many are through blogging! 🙂
Natalie recently posted..Some Weeks Call for a Breather
I have a few like that too. Some of my friendships are decades old. I still consider them close friends- I know if we had a chance to get together, we’d pick up right where we left off!