Two motherhood truths. One lie. What is false and what is my motherhood truths? Read on to find out.
1. I have spent a lot of time planning how I would get my preschooler to the other side of the river. You know, like if we had to get to the other side because the zombies were coming and the bridge was out? I’ve decided that I’d strap him on my back in the Ergo and swim. Because I can totally swim across a river with a strong current with a 36 pound kid on my back. I’m THAT BUFF.
2. I swear in the car. Like a SAILOR sometimes. I know it is wrong but some people suck at driving. I’m working on it. You know- controlling the tongue and being a good example for the kids. That whole bit. I get it. But since I can’t seem to do it yet, Malone also swears in the car. And sometimes at birthday parties when the birthday boy gets an amazing gift. Yeah- my kid totally dropped a “holy sh#tballs” at a party last week. I’m not so proud of that. Except that he DID USE the language properly.
3. Malone almost peed his pants today when we were in the grocery store because we were at the 100% opposite end of the store. It legit would have been quicker for us to check out and go home to potty. Instead, I traipsed him through the store where he proceeded to touch and question just about every eye level kid lure there was. And then he threw a mini tantrum when I told him we couldn’t get the”Dusty Craphoopper” (his words.. not mine) plane.
So… what is true and what is a lie? Give your guess in the comments below.
I’m linking up with Lisa Jo and all of the Five Minute Friday crew. Want to play with us? Grab a stop watch and write for five minutes. No editing. No looking back. The prompt is True.
Update- #3 is the lie. We did go to the store and he did have to potty, but he didn’t throw a tantrum about Dusty Craphopper. And now that Lola is here, I have to revise my #1 scenario How the heck will I get TWO kids across the river if the bridge is out?!?
Oh.my.gosh. I think #2 and #3 are truths…don’t de-friend me! I love your humor, the way you connect others and really just the fact that we are friends now. Awesome post.
xoxo
Sarah Knepper recently posted..True
I am super super glad we are friends too Sarah!
I think #2 is the lie for the following reasons”
1) It’s important to always have a zombie apocalypse plan
2) #3 is just fantastic.
Anna Milo recently posted..Five Minute Friday – True
Gosh.. I WISH that #2 is the lie. It’s actually #3. He didn’t ask for the Dusty Craphopper plane. But he did ask for just about everything else in the store that day!
Please tell me that #2 is true because it is so dang funny. I like this light-hearted take on True. Thanks for posting today!
#2 is TRUE. I’m still mortified in the best kinds of ways.
I’m pretty sure that #1 and #3 are the true ones. After all, we all know the zombie apocalypse is coming and a good mother would have a plan in place!
Kim recently posted..Five Minute Friday: True
OMG…love this! I think all three are true!!
I can totally see #1 being true…I’ve done similar rescue scenarios (in my mind). I’m the same for #2 (not cursing so much but I’d say Dude all the time, which my daughter started copying). And, #3’s happened to me too…except once my son actually peed (in a Hallmark store, which was carpeted!!).
For you, I’m going with #1 and #3!
When do we find out???
ronnie recently posted..Traveling to “The World” – Special
Ronnie, you should play along on your blog sometime. Two truths and one lie is great fun! I’ll post the answers soon!
#1 and #2 are the truths! I have spent so much time thinking about how I’d get Malone and I across the river. And now that Lollie is here I’ve got to come up with an entire new plan!
don’t hate me but I think they are all true! if anything is false I’d guess #1!
Such a creative take on the FMF prompt!
Aprille @beautifulinhistime.com recently posted..all the amazing people I want to meet at Allume {in which I rip up my lists and relinquish control}
#3 is the lie. He didn’t want the Dusty Craphopper. But he did want just about everything else that day! Why can’t preschoolers “get” that quick and easy means quick and easy?!?
Girl they’ve gotta all be true. You are so creative. Haha. 🙂 I’m grinning. (Linked up after you on our FB page!)
Thank you Dana! #3 is the lie!
stopping by from incouraging writers FB… Such a creative writing prompt that I think everyone should try at least once… and I’ve never had any experience with zombies, but I do know I’ve heard my kids repeat words I have said that I don’t want them too… and I’ve also dealt with little ones that have to GO TO THE BATHROOM RIGHT NOW…
Julie Wilson recently posted..Five Minute Friday: True
This is the first time I’ve ever used 2 truths and 1 lie, but I’ve seen a few other bloggers do it from time to time! #3 is the lie.
This is so fun! What a fantastic idea for a post! I’m going to guess 1 and 2 because hearing your kid scream holy sh*itballs at a zombie chasing him across the river would be quite a sight!
Jen recently posted..Five Minute Friday – True
My kid loves to drop the holy sh*tballs at the most inappropriate (yet totally awesome) times.
Well – I really can’t know as this is somehow my first time over at your little corner of the blogosphere… and yet – is it wrong if I like you more if #2 is one of the truths? I would guess #2 and #3 – but that’s just because I am fairly Zombie ignorant and would have no plan other than the die… probably saying language I have learned from your son! (I’m only guessing!)
~Karrilee~ recently posted..Speaking TRUE – Five Minute Friday
Well, I hope you stick around so I can make you laugh some more! I don’t really have much of a zombie plan either…
Hilarious! Oh my gosh I adore adore adore your take on this.
Stacey recently posted..My plans are made, let’s see what God does. Join me?
Thank you so much Stacey! I love to make people laugh!
I’m going to go with #1 as the lie. Not the swimming part, just the zombies because quite frankly, I don’t really get why zombies are so popular right now (or vampires for that matter). And the other 2 could very well be true for many of us Moms. Very clever, quirky, and funny post!
Christy @ A Heartening Life
http://www.ahearteninglife.com
Christy @ A Heartening Life recently posted..Can You Ever Share Too Much? (a five minute friday)
#3 is the lie. I obsess about how I’d get across the bridge. Not just zombies, but if I had to get over there because of a natural disaster or something too. Malone’s daycare used to be on the other side and it gave me a ton of anxiety!
I think #2 is the lie! #1 is too good to be a lie. 🙂
Nancy recently posted..One Month.
#3 is the lie Nani!
nj, you. crack. me. up. going to be laughing to myself all day…. love! —kris