Dear Overwhelmed Mom

Dear Overwhelmed Mom,

I have a few things I’ve been meaning to tell you. It feels scary and vulnerable to share them with you- mostly because I want you and the rest of the world to believe I have my act together. But really, I don’t. I am time strapped, stretched thin, and sometimes feel crushed under the weight of motherhood. Oh, and I don’t have a single clue what we’re having for dinner either.

This is the current state of our toy room.

And just like you no matter how many times my “helpers” and I clean it up, it ends up like this again. I know it is a sign of simple childhood calling and I love to sit for hours watching chubby hands play choo cho. But do you know what else? I wish it wasn’t toy chaos 24/7. And just like you, we’ve combed through and simplified our toys. We rotate them- the mess still multiples like bunnies.

My dishes are never done because my family will not stop eating. There are good moments left behind on these dirty dishes- breakfast conversation about what it means to be a good friend with a little boy who wears his heart of justice on his sleeve, a morning prayer whispered into my husband’s ear before he leaves for work, and new skills learned by a toddler who hates to sleep but loves to paint with yogurt.

[Tweet “My dishes are never done because my family will not stop eating.”]

And just like you, I long for the days when when my dishes were always done. Before I had my babies, this was easy.  My sink will never be part of the daily sparkle and shine club. It sparkles and shines for a few minutes on Saturday mornings when I finally get a chance to attack and deep clean it. But otherwise? I’m a Fly Lady drop out. And oh yeah, I’ve got an entire folder of cleaning printables too. I’ve even printed out a few.

The sight of my laundry piles make twitchy. If there is one thing that makes me crazy, it is piles of laundry. There are some weeks where I am really on top of everything and there are some weeks where I think it might just be a better idea to go to Target and buy everyone a pack of clean undies.

And just like you, my to do list is growing just like my laundry piles. There are bills to pay, birthday party gifts to buy, and I’m worried about a few special people in my life. These people need more help than I can really offer outside of prayer and love. In the quiet moments, I whisper quiet prayers that include the words cancer, addiction, and unemployment.

My work load is increasing and my kid is experiencing a few challenges that require some extra attention. My kids were up with the sun this morning- before 6:00 am. Oh yeah, my sweet toddler had a huge meltdown in Target this morning too. You know those ones- the kind where strangers stare.

I want to tell you that really my life as a mother is overwhelming, but I am fighting really hard to just be welmed by it all.

These things are working for me, so maybe they’ll work for you too?

• Prayer. It changes everything. Really and truely.
• Doing the next right thing. I have so many things to do and I often feel like I don’t even know where to begin. But if I focus on just going the next right thing, I’m able to narrow my focus and turn my to do list into a to done list.
• Putting my screens away. Social media steals a lot of time if you let it, so when life gets really big, I turn my online life off.
• Ditching commitments once in awhile. I am a follow through-er and a woman of my word. But missing a swim lesson or having a library book that’s over due by a few days isn’t the end of the world.
• Doing more of what I love. I love to read and write. So sometimes, I use those as leverage to help motivate me to get things done.
• I stopped fighting with my kids over petty power struggles. Instead, I fight hard for their character. It is so liberating!

I know you’re overwhelmed, mama. We all are. We’re burning the candle at both ends- trying to make it all happen and do the best we can for our families. But I want to let you know that you’re not alone.

Love,

NJ