I’m 34 weeks pregnant and I’ve lost my feet and my mind. Lucky you, dear reader, I’ve got a brain dump blogesty list for you today! I dare you not to laugh while you read. Double dog.
1. It is nearly 9:00 pm (at the time of writing this… oh yeah, sometimes I get my act together and write stuff ahead of time!) and in 15 minutes I am going to go pick up an order of take out garlic cheese sticks. I have on my pajamas. I don’t care. They kind of match, but not really. Also, there is totally a patch of kid slime on one of the shoulders. Awesomesauce. Still to cravy to really care though!
2. After writing last week about how much I hated my underpants, a very dear friend sent me a pair of maternity spanx in the mail. These might be the most amazing and cruelest gift to a woman. Step one- shimmy yourself into them while you ponder how much weight you’ve gained with this pregnancy. Step two- feel conflicted for the rest of the day. Do I feel well supported and amazing, especially because my underwear has not fallen down at all? Or do I feel like an overstuffed sausage? I can’t tell. But I adore them and my thoughtful friend anyway.
3. The other night while laying in bed with massive heartburn and praying for a forklift to come to lift me out of bed and drive me down the hallway to the bathroom, my cat showed up with a package of antacids her mouth. I’m not even lying to you! It’s like she can read my mind! This is officially the BEST pet trick ever. She’s a bit of a scratch and scrap street cat who loves to play with things that aren’t “official” cat toys (aka.. my cat LOVES to play with wrappers and trash). I will pretend that I am not concerned about the fact my alley cat has accessed my medicine cabinet. Besides, imagine if I could actually command things from her? She’s be like my very own cat genie! Moxie! I need a piece of chocolate and iced coffee! STAT!
4. Do you know what is more awkward than seeing a giganticly pregnant woman in the package store balancing a 12 pack of beer on her bump? That same preggo feeling the need to explain to everyone and their uncle that said beer is NOT for her. “It’s not for me! We’re going on vacation and leaving it for our cat sitter! Ugh, that came out wrong. No, he is our cat sitter but he’s old enough to drink!” Sigh… word vomit for the win. Lesson for next time- shut up.. no one cares! Or, send Michael.
5. Finally today Mike and I decided that when we get back from Cape Cod next week, we are going to move all of our rooms in our house around except for the kitchen. This will set off the master plan of waging the war on clutter. Because at 35 weeks pregnant I won’t have anything else really going on yet right? I have a feeling that this is a prime example of the mind is willing but the body is weak. The problem is that there is no turning turning back. This must happen before little lady comes or I will implode, I’m sure of it. If we pull it off, this will be the ultimate nesting experience of all time. I’m excited! I’ll still have tons of stuff to weed out in terms of clutter, but or house will function in a new and better way because we’ll be making better use of our space!
Do you have some blogesty to share this week? Tell me all about it in the comments below!